close enough to start a war,

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Grasping for her sisters hand, Ashleigh let out a laugh. "Get over here you rascal." A smile covered her face as Cassidy started giggling and ran towards her room. Cassidy shook her head and hid behind the door. Rolling her eyes Ashleigh followed closely behind her, grabbing her by the waist and tossing her over her shoulder. "You have to eat, please. For sissy?" She patted her butt gently and walked back to the kitchen, setting Cassidy on top of the counter, smiling she picked up the bowl of soup and grabbed the spoon. "You're too old for this silly." Moving the spoon from side to side she watched as her sister shrugged her shoulders and stuck out her tongue, she fed her and handed her the small bowl as she heard her phone go off. "I'm going to set you at the table now, alright? And you have to promise me you'll stay there and eat." Watching as Cassidy nodded, Ashleigh smiled proudly and nodded as well, taking her sister to the small table.

Ashleigh tucked some hair behind her ear as she jogged to her room to grab her phone, unlocking and checking the message while she walked back. Biting down on her bottom lip she read over the text a couple of times before thinking of a good enough response. An old friend had text messaged her asking if they could get together at an older park they use to always visit when they were younger. If it was back then Ashleigh would've been there in a second, gladly wasting the day, spending time with her closest friend. But times had changed and they'd both gone through a rough time the past couple of years, though she wasn't quite sure what he was going through. She cracked her knuckles of the opposite hand that was holding the phone, a bad habit she tried so hard to stop. She grabbed her phone with both hands now and tapped away at her touch screen phone before setting it on the table and glancing at her baby sister. Sure, I'll meet you there in ten or so.

"Hey kiddo, want to go to the park?" Ashleigh smiled and knelt by her little sister waiting for a head response. Even though Cassidy was four, she refused to speak at all. It often frustrated Ashleigh, spending so much time trying to teach Cassidy words but all she would ever do is shake her head. Cassidy smiled a toothy grin and nodded her head a couple of times. Ashleigh smiled small and stood, putting her hand out for her. "Off we go then little one."

The park where Jared and Ashleigh wasn't too far from the apartments Ashleigh and Cassidy lived, so they had decided to just walk there. Cassidy wrapped her arms around Ashleigh's neck, holding tightly so she wouldn't fall off her older sisters back. Ashleigh laughed lightly, and bounced a little as they reached the park. Glancing around for her old friend she spotted him and smiled small. "Jared." She called out, and headed towards him, Cassidy had gotten fussy, moving her legs in hopes of getting down. Taking the hint Ashleigh set her down and watched as she ran off to the play ground.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Jared had been awake for almost an hour, but he still hadn't gotten out of bed. His blue-green eyes stared at the ornately patterned ceiling in front of him, but that wasn't what was projecting in his mind. Internally, his mind was going over what had happened last fall when he had been in Spain on a study abroad trip, analyzing everything, trying to find a meaning or a link in anything. It was to no avail. With a sigh of frustration, he swung his legs over his mattress and off his bed and stood up. His gaze found his phone, which was laying forgotten across the room. He walked over to it and slid it open. No new messages. Pensive, he began writing a text.

meet me at the park today?

After pressing send, he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Jared inhaled the steam and stripped his black pajama pants and underwear off before stepping into the water. The hot water seemed to relax his muscles and released some of the tension. Lately, Jared had had a lot on his mind. Two Christmases ago, he had found out that the man he believed was his father--Ryan Bentley--was, in fact, not. Never one known to be cool-headed, Jared had been pretty angry about the discovery, especially considering Ryan had never exactly been very kind to Jared. Unfortunately, he had taken his frustration out on the person who deserved it least: his best friend, Ashleigh Salvadori.

It had been over the whispers that had always, always been circulating around them being more than friends. Even when Jared had dated other girls, they still buzzed about. Honestly, it had never bothered him before. But when he had found out that his father wasn't actually, you know, his father, the rumours had turned into something more vicious in Jared's mind. They had become lies, just like the lie that Jared had grown up believing his entire life.

Of course, the rumours weren't completely lies. Just before that Christmas, he had begun to see his best friend in a different light, and he wondered what would happen if they did take that step. But then after Christmas holidays, he had blown up in front of her in the middle of a crowded high school hallway. Several days later, Ashleigh's mother had died when her car had fallen off a cliff. Too wrapped up in his own problems, Jared didn't notice that his friend hadn't been to school in a while and he didn't notice the haunted look in her eyes when she did return. To his shame, he only found out one day while sitting at lunch when one of the "popular" girls asked him why he wasn't comforting his girlfriend. Jared had gone to Ashleigh, but their friendship hadn't been the same since. It almost felt like they were more strangers than anything.

He closed his eyes, letting the water beat against his skin rhythmically. Jared had abandoned his best friend when she needed his support the most, and he couldn't forgive himself. He opened his eyes and turned the faucet off, then stepped out of the shower and dried off his body with a towel. After dressing in pair of dark jeans, he towel dried his hair and walked into his bedroom again.

Murky blue-green eyes looked at his phone, but when he opened it, he was disappointed to see that he didn't have any text message. 'She's probably busy,' he told himself 'She has Cassidy to look after...

Jared shrugged and walked to his window, his bare, muscular chest gleamed slightly in the fresh light. He looked over the frosted landscape in front of him and wondered where Ashleigh was now and what she was doing. Just at that moment, her heard his phone go off it, and when he slid it open, a genuine smile came to his face. She said would meet him there in ten minutes.

It didn't take him very long to finish getting ready. He put on a forest green shirt, a black jacket, and his tennis shoes, and he was out the door. Jared jogged to the park, letting his excess nerves off in activity. He slowed to a walk when he saw the merry-go-round and headed towards it. As kids, he and Ashleigh used to lay on their backs on this thing, looking at the clouds or stars in the sky as they talked. He had always felt more at home here with her than he had ever felt with his family.

"Jared,"

Her voice caught his attention immediately, and he stood, watching as she walked over to him with Cassidy on her back. She paused to let Cassidy down, and together they watched her run off to another part of the playground. Jared stared at his friend for a moment, taking her in from her hair which could never make up it's mind as to what color to be to her toes. "Hey," he said after a moment, suddenly at a loss for words.

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

A small smile formed on Ashleigh's face as Cassidy slid down the slide, her arms in the air and a big grin plastered on her face. Pulling her eyes off of Cassidy, Ashleigh glanced at Jared, smiling a weak smile. In all honesty, she couldn't describe all the emotions she felt. It had been a long time since they last saw each other and the last time they did was on horrible terms. She took a deep breath and glanced down at her shoes, digging into the dirt with them. Her thoughts always found its way back to the day where their friendship really took a turn for the worse. They had been walking down the hall, just a regular school day for Ashleigh, and she couldn't stop rambling on about the softball tryouts that started the following week. Jared though, wasn't the same, she'd asked him plenty of times what was wrong but figured if he really wanted to talk to her about it he would. She was completely shocked when he snapped on her in the hall. The dirt on the floor shaped into a upside down U around her foot as she slide it back and forth from side to side, she took a gulp and glanced back up at him.

"Y-you wanted to see me?" She did her best to avoid his piercing blue-green eyes, and glanced every where else on his face. Ashleigh couldn't help but feel responsible for what had happened that day in the hallway, she had asked him too many times what was wrong, and when she finally did let it go he was already annoyed, but at the same time she felt upset, angered, betrayed. It wasn't more then two weeks when her mother passed away, she couldn't feel more alone. To afraid to talk to Jared, the only honest person she had in her life.

Ashleigh's own mind had always been her worst enemy, twisting things, making her believe that there was always something wrong she had done. Feeling the anger rise she glanced up at him, a frown covering over her smile. "Why." That's all she could make out with her voice as scratchy and uneven as it had turned. Why did he block her out when she needed him most? How could he do that after everything they had been through together? And if something was wrong, why couldn't he tell her? Her thoughts over flowed with different questions and she wanted answers for all.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Jared quickly became annoyed with himself. How could he not figure out what to say to this girl? This girl, who had confided in him that she thought she was dying when she started her period. This girl, who could probably hit a softball with her bat with her eyes closed, just by listening to its sound in the air? This girl, who he would always visit in the middle of the night when his father was being particularly cruel? This girl, who when her father left her family, had decided with him that they didn't need their fathers in their life? This girl, who was the only person who had ever seen him cry? And he couldn't find the words to say to her? To this girl? To his best friend?

When she broke the uneasy quiet with her hesitant words, he looked at her, directly in her eyes, even though she refused to look in his. He had never really noticed until this moment just how blue her eyes were. Radiant. Sparkling. And now angry, with that additional, singular word spoken from between her lips. Jared could hear the anger and pain in that one word, but he was mistaken about its meaning.

"I...I missed you," he said after a moment, looking away from her for a moment to watch Cassidy play cheerfully on the playground, "I've been missing you." Jared's eyes once again focused on Ashleigh.

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Ashleigh could feel her throat tighten up, the familiar tightness that she had gotten use to after her mother died. She chewed angrily on in the inside of her cheek, breaking skin almost immediately but stopping once she tasted blood. Her eyes shut tight as she replayed his just said words over in her mind. She let out a small cough that was mixed with a sarcastic and hurt laugh. "You missed me?" Her voice was just above a whisper, but it was harsh. "You got angry at me because other people thought we had something going on. You ignored me Jared, for weeks. When I needed you.." Her voice went out and she glanced up into his piercing eyes, but only for a second before turning to glance at her sister.

She wanted to hit him. She wanted to pound on his chest with her fists as hard as she could. She wanted to describe to him all she went through when he left her life, from having to identifying her mothers corpse, to seeing her father openly say he didn't want anything to do with the two girls . But most of all, she just wanted to wrap her arms around his firm and bulky chest and cry her eyes out. Make him promise never to do something like that again.

Shaking all her thoughts out of her head she ran her fingers through her wavy hair and dropped her hands to the side, she shook her head lightly and glanced back at Jared, going back to avoiding his eyes. "I needed you."

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Jared shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jacket, willing Ashleigh to look him in the eye. Her words hit him like a knife in the chest, twisting deeper and deeper into his heart. What she was saying was true, but it wasn't anything he didn't already know. He knew he had let her down. He knew he should have been there for her like she had always been there for him. He knew he was wrong, and the guilt and regret settled in the pit of stomach like a fiery ball he couldn't get rid of every single time he thought about it. Every single time he had thought about calling her when he was in Spain. Every single time he had begun writing a letter to her, only to stop. He had said he was sorry, but he didn't think sorry was enough. But what else could he say?

"I know," he replied, for he didn't know what else to say. Jared ran a hand through his disheveled dark hair, still drying from his shower. Ashleigh hadn't been asking why he wanted to see her. She had been asking why he had forsaken her, why he had walked out on her and hadn't come back when her mother had died and she had been left with nothing and no one except her little sister. Jared didn't know how to answer her.

"I'm sorry, Ashleigh," he said sincerely, though a slight twinge of anger twisting in his gut, "I've said sorry before. I don't know what else you want me to say."

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Ashleigh couldn't help but think about when he left, finding out for the first time that he was off in Spain. Sad thing was she had to find it out by someone else, not even Jared. Ashleigh had tried to find him, to talk and work things through, to say sorry for whatever she did. But only got, what she felt, a slap in the face.

Hands balling into fists, Ashleigh looked to his eyes, searching for any answers as to why he left, but all she saw was guilt, then past his face. I know. That's all? She blinked a couple of times, feeling the tears threatening to break loose. She hadn't cried in front of anyone or to anyone in a long time, and she wasn't going to start now, no matter how hurt and angry she felt. I'm sorry, Ashleigh...I've said sorry before. I don't know what else you want me to say. Ashleigh's fists slammed against his chest, most likely causing no pain. "You didn't even call! You just went on living your life! Like I was never a part of your life! Just like my father.." She choked lightly on her last sentence, feeling everything finally fully getting to her. The struggles of being by herself with her sister, not being able to go to college, everything. She dropped her head, resting it on his chest and she took deep breaths the keep in her tears, but it was no use.

She quickly pushed herself away from him and cleaned the tears that had fallen. "Cassidy and I should probably get going." Her voice was quiet, weak, and she glanced to look for her little sister. She wanted nothing but to have everything to be alright with them, but she didn't know how to make it right. She didn't know how to make herself trust him again, let herself close enough to him to actually be close friends. All of it felt like something was missing, she couldn't begin to understand it.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Jared winced as her fists slammed against his chest. It didn't hurt much, at least physically, but he didn't know how to measure how much it stung his heart. Despite the circumstances, his body eased when she was near, and he lightly placed his hands on her shoulders. 'At least she's not walking away...,' he thought to himself, perhaps a bit too prematurely. He took a moment to breathe in her essence. Ashleigh didn't smell fake or flowery like some girls, but she still smelled sweet.

"You didn't even call! You just went on living your life! Like I was never a part of your life! Just like my father..."

"Just like my father..."

Speaking about her father put him into a mild state of shock, causing him to not resist when she pulled away. Was he like her father? Was he like his father? His REAL father? A troubled frown came to him as he contemplated the comparison to himself then decided it didn't really matter. He didn't care how similar he was to their fathers because in one way at least he was distinctly different. He was trying to make things right. He just didn't know how.

"Cassidy and I should probably get going."

Her quiet and defeated voice erased any last morsel of anger left in him at her. Impulsively, he reached out and gripped her shoulder, as if that someone would actually keep her from leaving if she so choose (he knew it wouldn't). "Don't go," he pleaded, "Please."

Jared let go of her shoulder, letting his arm drop to his side. He didn't want to incite her by his--however meek--attempt to restrain her. He grimaced, looking up at the sky as if somehow the clouds held the answer, then looked back to her, "Look, I thought about calling. I must have started a thousand letters to you. It's just...I didn't know what to say! I still don't, okay?" By the time he finished speaking, he reckoned he probably sounded a little angry. He paused and shook his head as if to dispel those negative thoughts. If he was angry, it wasn't at her but at himself, "But I'm trying."

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Thinking over her choice of words she knew it probably hit home, she instantly felt bad, but at the same time she did felt like he let her down the way her father did. She chewed gently on her bottom lip as so many questions and thoughts ran through her head. Ashleigh could feel them slowly eating away at her and she shook her head in hopes of shaking them out.

Ashleigh couldn't bring her eyes back to him, they locked on the ground in front of her, which didn't help since her tears started to flow more easily. Her hands went to her face to wipe away her tears and tuck her hair behind her ears. Clearing her throat she glanced up, finally working up the nerve to look him in the eye. "You don't know what to say?" She licked her dry lips and glanced at the floor before looking back up. "What exactly was planned today then? What did you expect to get out of this if you didn't and still don't know what to say about what happened?" Any speck of hope she had was slowly fading, she rubbed her upper arm, locking her eyes on his. "The rumors....Were they really the reason you snapped?"

The thought had passed her mind a few times in the past, she couldn't understand him being so upset with her over rumors that other people had started. Though she didn't know what else, that she had done, that would make him mad enough to snap at and ignore her. Ashleigh glanced over to the play ground, checking up on her little sister who smiled widely as soon as she noticed Ashleigh was looking over. Cassidy waved her hand and Ashleigh returned the gesture before glancing back up at Jared.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

"You don't know what to say? What exactly was planned today then? What did you expect to get out of this if you didn't and still don't know what to say about what happened?

"Some sort of start to fix this," he replied immediately, gesturing to the gap between them. Jared didn't know know to fix it, but he did know that fixing it mattered to him more than anything else. The rift between him and Ashleigh felt wrong, and throughout the long months he had spent in sunny Spain, it was something that was always lurking in the back of his mind.

"The rumors....Were they really the reason you snapped?"

"No...of course not," he told her, a crease developing between his eyes. Jared reached out to cup her face with one hand and to brush away a few tears with the other, "Who in their right mind could be upset about rumours that you and I were together? Who could ever be ashamed of that?" he asked her softly.

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Some sort of start to fix this.

Nodding her head slightly she kept her eyes on him, only removing them to look up and blink to keep more tears from falling. Her throat still felt tight and she tried clearing it a couple of times but it didn't make any difference. if it was only that easy, fixing everything in one day, though she wished for it she knew that would never happen. But, more then anything, she wanted the big empty space placed between them closed.

Taking a deep and shaky breath, Ashleigh couldn't help but feel more secure than she had in long time when Jared's hand cupped her face. Almost immediately she placed her hand on the back of his, as if it would keep his hand there longer. Her eyes searched his and felt confused. "Then why...what did I do? What happened?" Since the conversation between them two began, he couldn't bring her voice any higher then a whisper, knowing she'd stand no chance.

Her mind couldn't help to fly off to other possibilities. Maybe it wasn't even her. Or maybe it was. If it wasn't, the feeling complete guilt would still run over her, not being there for him. But how could she? Ashleighs thoughts took over and went in circles and she could feel her knees get week, shaking them from her head again she gulped.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Jared didn't seeing Ashleigh sad. He didn't let seeing her blue eyes filling up with tears like a river ready to overflow in a storm. He didn't like the way she nodding her head numbly. Before all this had happened, he would take her in his arms and hold her until the devils had been all chased away. He would simply hold her hand so that she would know he was there and would be until she was strong enough to be by herself. Not that she had even not been strong enough to stand by herself. Ashleigh was the strongest person that he knew. But he also knew that even the strongest could become stronger by being letting themselves be weak.

The warmth of her hand against his comforted him, but when she began to speak, the comfort disappeared, "You?" he repeated blankly, "You didn't do anything. It doesn't matter what happened or what I was going through. I never should have gotten angry at you. I never should have deserted you. There is nothing on heaven or earth that would excuse that. And I'm sorry."

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

It was all too confusing for Ashleigh still, she chewed lightly on her bottom lip. "But it does matter Jared." Her fingers wrapped around his hand and pulled his hand off of her face, but she still held onto it, squeezing it tightly, as if she'd never get to hold it again. "You know I'm always here for you, always have been." She couldn't help but feel a little hurt, as close as they were. She thought he'd tell her what was wrong, instead of letting her think that she did something wrong. She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes on his.

Breaking her gaze off of Jared she looked towards the playground, checking up on Cassidy again. It was getting late, and cold and she knew Cassidy would start getting fussy. Shaking her head she glanced up at Jared. "Look, it's getting late. If you'd like..you can come over...But I really need to take Cassidy home.." She wasn't too sure if she should've invited him over or not, but once she offered she couldn't take it back. Not that she didn't want to see him longer, she just didn't want Cassidy to see or hear anything that went on between them.

[JARED EUGENE BENTLEY]

Her hand in his felt comfortable and safe. He looked at her and wondered what Ashleigh had experienced in the last twelve months without him here with her. It was weird to think that from the moment they had met, they had rarely gone more than a day without talking until this last year. Was Ashleigh still the same girl he had known then? Or had she changed? And had he? Had Jared changed as well? He wasn't able to respond to her statement about her always being there for him because he wasn't so sure anymore. It wasn't anything that she had done. Jared just didn't know if he could count on anyone anymore completely. He didn't know how he ever did.

At her offer, he looked up in the sky. It was beginning to get dark and cloudy, and he could feel the wind through his jacket. After a moment of thought, he nodded. "Sure, if you want me to," he conceded, then wondered if she still lived in the same place. Had she been forced to move since her mother's death? Had she been able to make enough money to get by? Another twinge of guilt touched him; his family had plenty of money. If he had stayed, would it have made a difference in her quality of life?

[ASHLEIGH JASE SALVADORI]

Ashleigh nodded at his response and slowly let loose of his hand. Tucking some hair behind her ear she looked towards the playground, calling out for Cassidy. It wasn't a second before Cassidy few running to Ashleigh, smiling wide. She couldn't help but smile back and grabbed her hand gently. Though she was merely five years, Ashleigh could help but feel safe and comforted with Cassidy. She knew Cassidy would never leave her, never desert her when she needed her. Not that she had a choice, but I comforted her. Smiling small at her little sister, she squeezed her hand gently and spoke. "Sissy's friend is going to come over, alright?" Cassify nodded her head and smiled small, leaning to glance behind Ashleigh at Jared.

Glancing back at Jared she cleared her throat and gestured towards the way to her apartment. "We live this way..In the apartments, just off the freeway." She attemtped to describe it and shook her head lightly. "Its not that far from here. Just follow me.." she glanced back and started walking, already knowing it would be an awkward and uncomfortable walk. In a way it hurt her, knowning how much damage was done to their friendship. She couldnt lie, she did care a little more for him then she had answered to others when they asked if she liked him, but now, she wasn't sure if she understood him anymore. Not like she use to. She was confused by him